Ask not what Pere Ubu can do for you;
rather, ask what you can do for Pere Ubu.

Fed up with the daily inundation of crap reality (as defined by the Media Priests)?

Exhausted by the gross excesses of monkey freaks on the TV, on the radio and on the streets?


Ask not what Pere Ubu can do for you.

Seize the Moment Yourself!

We know it's tough being a Pere Ubu fan. Decade after decade you wait for a miracle. Oh, sure, it was cool for awhile following a band nobody had heard of. "Pere who?" But all your friends they get to follow Coldplay or Nine Inch Nails - not to mention Beyonce - and they lord it over you. We know how it feels. Being a QPR fan in a world of Man Us. The head honcho at Fontana Records was a fan. He signed the band. He bet a case of expensive champagne that he'd "break" Pere Ubu. He lost. Of course.

And what's really galling is that the band does nothing to help itself. Nothing! It's like being David's girlfriend. He walks around in a shabby coat and doesn't give a damn. So you think to yourself, 'I'll buy him a coat.' Except he won't wear one that doesn't look exactly like the one he's wearing. You look for a solid year and finally think you've found it... and still he won't wear it because the sleeves actually fit his arm length and he can't roll them up like he had to do on his old coat that he still wears. With the holes in it. And the food stains.

We feel your angst.

Buy into the 'Ask Not Campaign.' You try and promote the damn band! Just £3!

"Why should we pay to promote Pere Ubu," the confused may ask. "What's in it for me?"

Nothing is in it for you, we respond.

"It's just another self-serving ploy by self-important pop musicians," say the knee-jerk whingers.

Oh no, we don't need you. You need this. For yourself. It's one utterly futile stand you can make against the collapse of civilization and all that you hold dear. (No need to thank us - your £3 is thanks enough.)

Here's the deal:

* - In 1991, the 'Kindness of Strangers' campaign raised money from fans around the world to pay for expenses to appear on the David Letterman Show on American TV, September 11 1991.

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